One Rainy Night

As much as I love SATC, and movies and shows and stuff in general, a frustration of mine is that I see the romantic things that happen in the scripts and wish to feel that too. I guess that’s a pretty typical complaint of women, that there isn’t enough romance in our lives, but whose fault is that?

Do women expect too much because we see what goes on in movies and on television, and expect that to just be normal? Perhaps it’s a bit like how men (and women) who watch a lot of porn, especially from a young age, grow up and expect that sex will always be like that, perfectly orchestrated and co-ordinated and loud and amazing, then get severely disappointed when they find out that sex in real life can be awkward, or a let-down, or boring, or painful, and so on and so forth. Some people have trouble wrapping their minds around the fact that real life is nothing like how it can be depicted on a screen, and that sex can be goofy and endearing and passionate, all without being airbrushed and perfect.

Romance is a different thing to different people though I suppose. For Valentine’s Day one year, A made me spaghetti and turkey meatballs, and filled the apartment with candles. It was incredibly sweet, and even though the food was inedible (we got sushi instead, which was absolutely fine by me!), the thought and effort he put into it made that day stand out in my mind above all others in the four times we celebrated that day together. Once, he brought home a beautiful rose for me, just because he knew it would make me smile. Actually, I wrote a post about it that night when it happened. Romance to me doesn’t have to be dinners under the Eiffel Tower with fireworks going off in the background. A few candles can go so far, and a single flower makes me swoon.

Of course, Mr. Big on SATC sure knew how to make ladies’ hearts melt. One pivotal scene was on Carrie’s birthday, when her entire day was a flop and she had a miserable time, and he showed up in his town car, rolled down the window to reveal the back of the car filled with beautiful red balloons, and they have a wonderful evening together. And when they broke up for the millionth time (we all know how that goes,) she was in Paris with another man but she was miserable, and Big called her three friends and got together with them. They were all really unimpressed with him because of how many times he had messed with Carrie’s heart, but he asked if there was the slightest chance that Carrie would still want to be with him. He said if there wasn’t, he would leave her alone for good and let her be happy, but if there was the smallest glimmer of hope, he wanted to go get her. So he went to Paris, without knowing where she was, and they ended up finding each other on the street, as he was in a cab and she was walking around. It was the absolute sweetest, most romantic thing I have ever heard of in my life. They belonged together, and the way it happened was just so perfect.

But maybe that’s part of why I, and many other women like me, expect too much in that department. Large, grandiose displays of affection and love are wonderful, but it’s the little things that really matter. At least to me. It is unfortunate for both the women who feel like this and for the men in their lives, because the women are perpetually disappointed it seems, and the men can never seem to live up to the ridiculous expectations set for them. It is lose-lose.

So men, whether you have been with your significant other for months, years, or decades, don’t forget to throw a little sparkle into the relationship from time to time. It doesn’t have to come in the form of a box from Tiffany’s or plane tickets to Mazatlan. It can be something like hiring a babysitter to watch the kids for an evening so you and your love can spend the night together alone, or surprising her with a flower (or whole bouquet, whatever works!), or turning the lights down and having a dinner by candlelight for a change. Make her feel special in little ways, and the payoff will be huge for both of you

Tags: Just me, Love, Random thoughts