I hope you brought your umbrella
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I don’t know whether I am in love with J or I just want to sleep with him again. At home, when I’m in constant communication with him, I think that I love him. I want nothing more than to be his and have him be mine. But when I lay in my bed here in India, contemplating my heart, I wonder if it’s merely lust. I think about the fact that none of my friends like the way he treats me or any other girl, I remember how hurtful he is when he’s so cavalier with my emotions, and I realize that being with him would be so stupid. Then my insecurity comes out to play, the thoughts about not being attractive enough to ever be able to have him, and I want to give up.

Ashley @ 5:28 PM

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