One Rainy Night

I’m sitting here on the floor in my basement, going through at least twenty five boxes of stuff to pull out a few things I need (external hard-drive, important documents, books,) and I stumbled across a few things that managed to escape my breakup purge of mementos from A. I was already sensitive because I found the key hook frame that I made with Sadie’s name and image on it, and when I haphazardly flipped through the calendar that A made for me, I instantly had a deluge of huge tears rolling down my face. Thank god my mom was way upstairs and couldn’t hear me sob, because she would have thought I broke a bone or something.

How long will it be like this? I wish I would just be impervious to anything regarding A now. It has been seven months… isn’t that long enough? Why do I still cry? It’s not that I still have feelings for him (I’m actually pretty upset over a little incident he and I had on Thursday,) it’s not that I would ever want him back… so what is it? I have always heard it takes half the time you were dating to get over someone, but I really really hope that isn’t true. I can’t go through two more years of random fits of crying over this.

Am I just being a melodramatic female? I know that I often fall into that category about things… but is this one of them?

Tags: Just me, Painful, Past, Relationships, Sad